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This
page is for educational purposes only; Redress, Inc. does not
endorse any particular party.
Just for
fun -- after all, if we can't laugh about it, why bother?
(Author unknown.)
Political Parties
- Communist - You have 2 cows. The government seizes
both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours
to get it. It is expensive and sour!
- Democrat - You have 2 cows. Your neighbor has
none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote
people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to
sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted
for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. Your feel righteous!
- Republican - You have
2 cows. Your neighbor has none. So?!
- Socialist - You have
2 cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage
his cow!
Other Observations (Quote: Those who
have learned to laugh at themselves never cease to be
amused!)
- Capitalism, American Style - You have 2
cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows!
- Democracy, American Style - You have 2
cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow,
which was a gift from your government!
- Bureaucracy, American Style - You have
2 cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks
the other, pays you for the milk and then pours the milk down the
drain!
- American Corporation - You have 2
cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
on the second one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk
of 4 cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes
up!
- Florida Corporation - You have a black
cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking
cow. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for
the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people
vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote
at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
which is the best-looking one!
- New York Corporation - You have 15
million cows. You have to choose which one will be the
leader of the herd, so you pick some cow from
Arkansas!
- French Corporation - You have 2 cows. You go on
strike because you want 3 cows. You go to lunch. Life
is good!
- Japanese Corporation - You have 2
cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn
to travel on unbelievably crowded trains; most are at the top of
their class at cow school!
- German Corporation - You have 2
cows. You re-engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots
of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles an hour... unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation!
- Italian Corporation - You have 2 cows
but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you
see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is
good!
- Russion Corporation - You have 2
cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn
you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them
again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka. The Mafia shows up and takes over
however many cows you really have!
- _______________ Corporation (choose
your own nationality here) - You have 2 bulls. Employees are
regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk
them!
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