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RESEARCH REVEALS MEN TOO BECOME DOMESTIC ABUSE VICTIMS While Some Experts Question Studies, Others Say Society's Attitude Needs to be Gender Equal By John Simerman, Knight Ridder Newspapers, Reported in Las Vegas Review-Journal, 11-29-02 CONCORD, Calif. - The trip to jail did not surprise her. She had slugged her new husband in the mouth, after all, over something so small she could not remember it now. But the reaction down at the police station was something else. Four years later, it still upsets her. "They were all laughing, saying, 'So, you hit your husband?' Ha, ha ha!" said the woman who lives in Contra Costa County and who asked remain anonymous. "The one who arrested me, he was chuckling." Such are the lingering attitudes toward female domestic abusers, male victims' advocates contend, despite an emerging body of research that shows men, too, fall victim in big numbers. About 835,000 men are raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner every year in the United States, compared with 1.5 million female victims, according to surveys cited by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Other studies show that men and women suffer domestic violence in equal numbers. The difference: Women sustain injury twice as often. The research has spurred debate. On one side, women's advocates argue the studies are flawed and blur the focus on the pervasive problem of violence against women. On the other hand, male victims' advocates lament weak outreach efforts and a skewed justice system that compromises men in violent relationships. A handful of recent cases highlight the other side of a troubling social problem that crosses all social boundaries. Among them: a California woman charged last month with fatally stabbing her elderly husband; the attack on St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chuck Finley by his actress wife, Tawny Kitaen, which drew mocking remarks from some media and baseball fans; and a Pittsburgh woman accused in July of bludgeoning her husband to death with a towel rack. Male victims' advocates contend the statistics do not reflect the real situation. Men are far less likely to report abuse, research shows. The advocates point to survey research that shows women do not usually strike in self-defense. "One thought is that female aggression has always been a function of protection, or reaction. But the data doesn't support that," said Martin Biebert, a psychology professor at Cal State Long Beach. He has reviewed more than 100 research studies on domestic violence. "It turns out, in 50 percent of the cases, you can't separate who started it, and in the other 50 percent, it's equal," Fiebert said. Superior Court Judge Judith Craddick, who runs the Contra Costa County's misdemeanor domestic violence court in Concord, said about 20 of the 500 defendants she now monitors are women. Those numbers worry John Hamel, Pleasant Hill clinical social worker who works with violent individuals and couples. Hamel has challenged county leaders to rethink the zero-tolerance policy. He said the focus on low-level incidents, through strengthened law enforcement and prosecution, pushes men alone into treatment when their partners may need counseling also. "The dad is sent to jail: mom is treated like a victim. And when dad is released, mom has all this power over him, and she has no pressure on her to change," said Hamel, who is part of a small group of Northern California counselors urging a "gender-inclusive" approach to domestic violence. The best solution may be couples therapy, Hamel said, but state law prohibits it for defendants undergoing a mandatory 52-week batterers program. "Our society is fixated on the O.J. Simpsons and the 'burning bed' type of encounters. But that's a very small percentage," Hamel said. "Let's not arrest people who don't need to be arrested. Let's look at the situation with the complexity it has." Such arguments have raised red flags with women's advocates. Some of the surveys cited by male victim's advocates ignore self-defense, said Rita Smith, executive director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Self-reporting surveys, in which people are asked whether they have engaged in domestic violence or suffered it, are flawed, she said. "My experience with batterers is, they lie," Smith said. "To gender-equalize this issue puts an awful lot of people at risk. It's not to say there aren't men battered or killed, but the numbers for the really dangerous or violent episodes and lethality are predominantly women." In many ways, the two sexes are not much different in their response to accusations of abuse, said Michael Elder, a counselor at Concord, Calif.-based STAND Against Domestic Violence. The agency provides treatment for batterers and victims of both sexes. Many attend under a court order. "The excuses may be different. In the most crude way, it's 'I'm a man, I should be obeyed.' Or, 'I'm a woman, I should be protected.' Other than that, it's a lot the same," Elder said. Craddick said she has noticed one difference between male and female defendants. "It appears women are more inclined to use some types of device, a stick or piece of dish ware... rather than a punch," she said. Victims of both sexes feel bound by relationships and unable to leave, counselors said. Duane Samples, a retired law enforcement officer who lives in Folsom, Calif., was a typical victim, he said. "My scenario was just like a woman's. I left 50 times, and I came back. I was trapped," Samples said. "I didn't want her to get arrested. I just wanted her to stop. I was in love with her." Samples, a 230-pound former Marine who stands 6 feet, 4 inches, said he has scars across his chest and neck from his first wife's attacks. He said he never fought back. "I didn't know how much of a victim I was until I went to a (law enforcement) training course where two women talked about their experiences. I found my mouth on the floor. I realized they were talking about me." WORKING TOGETHER TO ATTAIN FAIRNESS | ||
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